I don't know about you, but I have a much easier time forgiving others than I do myself. I have a self destructive double standard which tells me at times that I am unforgivable .
Even though it's only Wednesday, I have had a pretty emotional week that has resulted in the routine of self criticism. Sitting here planning my words, I just realized that criticism is pretty different from self critique.
See, critique is good! It is reflection. It leads to growth. It is an acknowledgement that there is room for improvement and one could argue that every good teacher (heck, every good human!) benefits from self critique and reflection. If we are never able to see where we can do better, we will become stagnant.
On the other hand, self criticism is a curse. It is an inability to forgive ourselves for mistakes. It is hatred of ourselves for not being perfect. And far from leading to growth, it stops us in our tracks and forces us to stew in what we did wrong. We never move forward.
We become trapped: forbidden to forget our errors.
After forcing myself to reflect here, it seems that acknowledging these things makes them easier to address. It is no good for me or for anyone around me to hold on to my mistakes. I must move forward and grow.
So as I cannot change the past, I must change my reaction to it.